I can't do it, friends; I can't let my baby cry it out. I write this not to make a judgment on any fellow-moms who have chosen this method of sleep training, but more to reflect on judgments and decisions I made before becoming a parent.
Before Stella arrived, I had a pretty clear idea in my head of what kind of mom I'd be. I watched other mothers (whom I still admire) practice different parenting philosophies with their children and I made critical judgments on whether these moms were doing the right thing or the wrong thing with their children. Sometimes, I even openly questioned my friends who had made certain choices with which I disagreed...and often, I talked about people behind their backs based on something they did with discipline, sleep schedules, nursing, co-sleeping, you name it. Now that Stella is here, I have realized a few things:
1. You simply don't know what kind of mom you're going to be before you take the plunge.
2. You also don't know what kind of child you will have before they enter the world.
3. There are very few non-negotiables in parenting...and even the non-negotiables differ from parent to parent.
4. Parenting books can be helpful, but there is no perfect model by which to raise every child.
5. I'm pretty sure my method of mothering will change if I have more children, based on meeting the needs of all my kids (to the best of my ability) at that time.
6. Being a parent is a lot like the rest of life: have fewer, less rigid expectations (of both yourself and your child) and you'll be much happier with how things actually turn out in the end.
7. I choose not to let Stella cry it out, I like nursing her on a more flexible schedule, I may change my mind about both of these things in the future, and I'm pretty sure I'm not doing any permanent damage to her (or to myself) by choosing to do these things!
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Photo of me, my mom, and my brother the day she brought my brother home from the hospital. By the way, she let me cry it out, I still love her, and I'm not permanently scarred from the experience! P.S. I've been up and down my stairs no less than four times since starting this post to tend to a certain, fussy baby who need not be named...and I'm grateful for the extra time I spent with her tonight. |
I heart you and this post! As one sleep deprived mother of a six month old to another thank you!
ReplyDeleteJeff and I made the decision to not let Atlantis cry it out and it is one that we will never regret :) Atlantis slept on my chest until she was probably 6 months old and in our bed until she was 10 months when I found out that I am pregnant with baby number 2 at that time not only did we stop breast-feeding but we also started having her sleep in her own crib and room the transition has been great and she did really well!!! I have always asked my doctor if we are spoiling her and she always says no it's not possible. And I agree with you letting the your little one cry it out is very hard so if it isn't for you don't feel guilty cuddle with your baby all you want cuz these little one days are only going to last so long... Atlantis is a huge cuddler and I love when I get her hugs they always make me smile :)
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