Reflections on 2010.

Hands Down - The BEST moment of 2010...and of my life!

Tim and I spent some time reflecting on 2010...what a year!

We started by thinking back to last December 31st - New Year's Eve 2009 - which we spent cleaning and organizing all our possessions in preparation for the arrival of Stella in just a few more months.   I know, call us party animals!  If you had asked me last New Year's Eve what 2010 would look like, I probably would have stated with assurance that we were going to continue living in community with our friends, staying in our home, and bringing a baby into that reality in April.  In early January 2010 our roommates felt God was calling them to start their own family and our house was simply not large enough for two full families with kids.  Things moved more quickly with that transition than we had expected, and our friends moved out just days before Stella's arrival.  We brought our daughter home and into our lives into a different circumstance than the one we had anticipated a few months before, but God knew all our needs and has provided in great ways.  Our little family was "just us" again for the first time in a few years, only "just us" had expanded from two to three people with the arrival of our daughter.  My birth experience was amazing; it was beautiful, spiritual, and more memorable than anything I ever expected it would be.  Stella has refined and solidified my calling - I'm a mother, her mother.  I feel more confident in God's calling on my life than I have ever felt before; my confidence is solidified by seeing Stella's development over the past eight months of her life.  She has gone from a helpless newborn who struggled to nurse to a personality-filled, joyful, BIG girl.  She went from sleeping a lot, to eating a lot, to sitting up, to jumping in her jumper, to crawling, to standing - with many other moments ("da-da," "ma-ma" and so many more recorded in this blog) in between. In spite of this wonderful freedom I have found in motherhood, the year has presented us with challenges in many forms:

• We decided I would stay at home with Stella which brought us great joy but also meant that we were now adjusting to life on only one income.

• Tim's mom had open heart surgery in June - thankfully, she has made an incredible recovery and is truly healthier than she has been in years!

• Tim's Uncle Jack passed away after a very sudden decline with ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease); Jack was diagnosed last spring and passed this summer - we miss him and I think all of us are still reeling because of how quickly his illness progressed.  This past year, we have walked alongside and prayed for many family and friends struggling with serious illness, divorce, loneliness, death, and other difficult circumstances.

• We were denied assistance through a program that would have allowed us to stay in our house - this after a multi-year process of trying to refinance and sell while the economy and the housing market continued to crumble around us.

• I have wrestled with the pull to find a job without sacrificing my time or primary focus on Stella - only to find that I think God is calling me to trust Him fully for our provision in whatever form this might take in the coming year.

God has been so faithful to provide for all our needs this past year - we have received gifts beyond anything we imagined.  I admit that living in a place of trust is difficult at times; however, it is truly awesome to see our Heavenly Father provide all that we need - our daily bread - and to be able to give testimony to His goodness and His love.

Contrary to last year, I have no idea what 2011 may hold for our family.  One this is for sure, I'm more at peace in this state of reliance on God's plans than with making my own plans for this coming year.

"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church by Jesus Christ to all generations, forever and ever!  Amen." Ephesians 3: 20-21