Call Me Nurse Jenny!

Ugggghhhh - it has been a LONG stretch of sickness in the Carpenter household the past few weeks.  I think our family slogan for 2011 should be, "We don't just get sick, we get SICK!"  Thankfully, I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Tim was my nurse last week/beginning of this week when I was sick, and now it's my turn to take care of him.  The baby has escaped this one unharmed...I'm hoping and praying it will stay that way.  Lots has been happening, but when you are in charge of the entire house and all the people and animals in it it's difficult to find time to write!

We received an offer on our house - it was really low, but it's an offer nonetheless.  Since we're attempting a short sale it's all up to the bank at this point.  I was writing an e-mail to a friend the other day and mentioned how this whole situation is now fully in God's hands - not that it hasn't been this entire time, but now that it's out of our hands completely it's easier to see how much it is IN God's hands completely.  We have nothing left to do but pray, since all of the paperwork has been submitted.

In other news, we are flying to Florida in March (thank GOD) for a much needed vacation as a little family.  Tim received two vouchers for flights due to getting bumped on a trip he took this summer - we decided to cash in and go someplace warm and FREE...to visit my grandmother in her retirement community.  I know, soooo glamorous - you are jealous.  My nana couldn't be happier that we are coming to visit and I couldn't be happier to have something to look forward to in a few more weeks.

I shall end my night dreaming of a spa pedicure/manicure, an eyebrow wax (my eyebrows scare me when I look too closely in the mirror...), and a massage.  Then, I shall wake up tomorrow and think about what a nice dream that was, and pluck my own eyebrows - ouch!

Weaning.

The process has begun - I can feel it.  My baby is growing up and my body is slowing down when it comes to nursing her.  Depending on the time of day, my feelings on this SWING like a wildly oscillating pendulum - it's almost like I'm going through an eleven-month-delayed postpartum episode.  Thankfully, my friend Heather and I were able to talk the other day before she left for vacation; Heather is a lactation consultant and RN...I frequently ask myself "what would I have done without her?"  I don't think anyone can fully understand these feelings unless you've experienced the joy and satisfaction of breastfeeding a child.  I have friends who value breastfeeding and who stuck with it, but my personal experience with nursing my baby has been far greater than anything I anticipated it would be before giving birth to Stella.  Part of me is not ready to give it up, but I think a bigger part of me is not willing to fight the process that is naturally happening, especially when Stella seems to be just fine through it all.

I have loved being Stella's provider in this way.  I have felt proud of her chubby leg rolls, knowing I put them there!  It feels good to know that she has needed me.  I love the bond we created.  Am I still her provider?  Yes.  Am I still proud?  Yes.  Does she still need me?  Yes.  Are we still connected in wonderful ways?  Yes.  But something is different as we move into this next phase in her life, and I'm going through a period of mourning as it feels like a loss to me.  It's bittersweet to see your child growing up; I want to freeze time, but I also recognize that I'm doing my job and this is natural and good.

I gave her a bottle today and she held it by herself in her little hands while she rested in my arms.  Tim and I both agreed it was one of the cutest things we've ever seen.  So, I'll do my best to take joy in this new phase...God knows that saying "goodbye" to breastfeeding isn't the last farewell of parenthood!  By his grace, with each goodbye comes a new, beautiful phase of life with Stella.

Sick as a Dog.

I'm sick.  It stinks.

Stella and The Straw

Stella's new favorite method of drinking is through a straw.  I put some water in a cup, along with a lid and straw, and we gave Stella a chance to sip...she would drink all day long if we let her use a straw.  It's the cutest - take a look at those precious, pursed lips!

Cards from my grandmothers!

Stella got a few cards for Valentine's Day - one from my mom and one from Tim's mom...and here was her reaction to both:

"A Valentine's Day Card...for me?"

"Ooohhh...beautiful!"

"My grandmothers love me SO much, dad!"

"See!"

"I love my cards so much, I'm going to jump right out of your arms!"

"This is the most amazing day of my life!"

My Two Valentines

We don't go all out on Valentine's Day in the Carpenter household, but these are my two, most precious Valentines, for sure.  I love you more than words can express, Timothy Ethan Carpenter and Stella Grace Carpenter!

Sneezes and Smiles.

Stella loves to sneeze.  I wish I could predict when it is about to happen because it would be so adorable to catch her reaction on camera.  She sneezes, sometimes twice, and then a huge smile spreads across her face...sometimes she laughs.  She reacts the same way when I sneeze, too.  It's so stinkin' adorable, I cannot stand it!  

Isn't it funny how these really unusual experiences, like sneezing, become so ordinary to us over time?  One of the blessings about having a child is that I get to experience all the newness of life right alongside her.  I normally wouldn't think much about something like a sneeze, or a taste of food, or my dog walking in the room, but with Stella all of these experiences are new, extraordinary, and fun!  I love watching her take joy in these small things because it helps me to do the same.

First Word and First Stand - in ONE day!

I didn't catch either moment on camera or on film, but today was a big day for two reasons.  Stella stood up twice on her own - she was holding on to me and then she just let go and confidently stood there for several seconds each time!  Then, while eating dinner, she pointed her finger at Caroline and said something that closely resembled the word "dog" - over, and over, and over!  She was so proud of herself.  I realized, actually, that she has been saying dog for a while, but I just didn't put two and two together until she pointed and was obviously trying to tell me she knows Caroline and Griffin are DOGS.  She's been saying "mama" and "dada" for some time now, but I think "dog" is her first real word.

Wow - what a big day! 

Just Lying Around.

Tim and Tiny Tim.

Stella loves Hannah.

My dear old friend, Hannah, came to visit us on Monday.  Stella was smitten, but aren't we all when Hannah pays a visit?

On an entirely different note, I'm reclaiming my body.  I got my hair trimmed yesterday and it really made me think about how I've been caring for myself lately.  So, step one is that I've decided to finally donate my old sweatpants and t-shirts and "too big" clothing.  I've lost all my pre-baby weight (and a few pounds extra, yippee!) and I need to look like a human being again instead of dressing like I'm still carrying a baby in my belly.  A fresh haircut will do wonders for how you look at your WHOLE self!

You in the Mirror, Staring Back at Me.

Stella and I had a TON of time to kill today while we waited for her doctor to get to us...but at least I had my camera because I'm in love with these photos of her playing with her reflection in the mirror:

'Sup?

No Pictures!

My friend, Emily, came to visit us the past few days - we had a great time exploring some of our memories from high school, as well as catching up on details from the past ten years.  We have kept in touch (especially when I would travel to NYC for work trips several times a year) but it has been a long time since we've had a few days of undivided attention for one another.  Tonight, I sat down to write about our time together and I automatically reached for my camera...then I realized that I did not take a single photo the entire time she was here.  I'm so mad!  

Some of the highlights:

Late night talks

Conquering our fears

Our trip to Wolfeboro...featuring:

• drinks from Lydia's
• a tour of Kingswood Press courtesy of Becky Swaffield
• real turkey sandwiches from Full Belly Deli
• a visit to the Law Offices of Kurt D. Devylder
• gawking at the ugliness of Kingswood Regional High School...under construction

Looking through my high school memory box and CRACKING up

The Friendly Toast in Portsmouth

As I think more about it I'm beginning to recognize that the main reason I didn't capture anything on camera was because we were living in the moment.  That's a good place to be.  Love you, em-bop.

Crisis Averted...Barely.

Tim was home early from work today and was helping with all aspects of Stella's bedtime routine - he handed her off to me to diaper, dress, and nurse to sleep.  I plopped her down on her changing pad on our bed and she promptly started to crawl away from me.  I guess I didn't realize how very FAST she can crawl and by the time I knew it she was all the way across our king-sized bed!  I barely had a second to run around the bed and catch one of Stella' legs as her head and torso fell off the edge.  Stella was not phased at all - she sucked her thumb and rested on my shoulder for a minute while my heart pounded out of my chest...thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump.

I'm so thankful to have caught her in time.  Got to keep a very close eye on my quick, sneaky little girl!