Reflections on 2010.

Hands Down - The BEST moment of 2010...and of my life!

Tim and I spent some time reflecting on 2010...what a year!

We started by thinking back to last December 31st - New Year's Eve 2009 - which we spent cleaning and organizing all our possessions in preparation for the arrival of Stella in just a few more months.   I know, call us party animals!  If you had asked me last New Year's Eve what 2010 would look like, I probably would have stated with assurance that we were going to continue living in community with our friends, staying in our home, and bringing a baby into that reality in April.  In early January 2010 our roommates felt God was calling them to start their own family and our house was simply not large enough for two full families with kids.  Things moved more quickly with that transition than we had expected, and our friends moved out just days before Stella's arrival.  We brought our daughter home and into our lives into a different circumstance than the one we had anticipated a few months before, but God knew all our needs and has provided in great ways.  Our little family was "just us" again for the first time in a few years, only "just us" had expanded from two to three people with the arrival of our daughter.  My birth experience was amazing; it was beautiful, spiritual, and more memorable than anything I ever expected it would be.  Stella has refined and solidified my calling - I'm a mother, her mother.  I feel more confident in God's calling on my life than I have ever felt before; my confidence is solidified by seeing Stella's development over the past eight months of her life.  She has gone from a helpless newborn who struggled to nurse to a personality-filled, joyful, BIG girl.  She went from sleeping a lot, to eating a lot, to sitting up, to jumping in her jumper, to crawling, to standing - with many other moments ("da-da," "ma-ma" and so many more recorded in this blog) in between. In spite of this wonderful freedom I have found in motherhood, the year has presented us with challenges in many forms:

• We decided I would stay at home with Stella which brought us great joy but also meant that we were now adjusting to life on only one income.

• Tim's mom had open heart surgery in June - thankfully, she has made an incredible recovery and is truly healthier than she has been in years!

• Tim's Uncle Jack passed away after a very sudden decline with ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease); Jack was diagnosed last spring and passed this summer - we miss him and I think all of us are still reeling because of how quickly his illness progressed.  This past year, we have walked alongside and prayed for many family and friends struggling with serious illness, divorce, loneliness, death, and other difficult circumstances.

• We were denied assistance through a program that would have allowed us to stay in our house - this after a multi-year process of trying to refinance and sell while the economy and the housing market continued to crumble around us.

• I have wrestled with the pull to find a job without sacrificing my time or primary focus on Stella - only to find that I think God is calling me to trust Him fully for our provision in whatever form this might take in the coming year.

God has been so faithful to provide for all our needs this past year - we have received gifts beyond anything we imagined.  I admit that living in a place of trust is difficult at times; however, it is truly awesome to see our Heavenly Father provide all that we need - our daily bread - and to be able to give testimony to His goodness and His love.

Contrary to last year, I have no idea what 2011 may hold for our family.  One this is for sure, I'm more at peace in this state of reliance on God's plans than with making my own plans for this coming year.

"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church by Jesus Christ to all generations, forever and ever!  Amen." Ephesians 3: 20-21

Baby Things I Love...

There are many wonderful baby products out there, but here are a few things we love in the Carpenter household.

1. Stella's new duck-bathtub which Grandmom Carpenter bought her for Christmas.  It's inflatable and made for travel, but we think it's great for everyday use, too.  The beak "quacks" when you press it, and there is a thermometer inside so you know the right temperature for the water.  The soft sides keep her from slipping and hurting herself, and she can sit up like a big girl without sliding around in the big tub.  Plus, it cost under $12 online via Target:

2. Zip up pajamas - make all diaper changes SO MUCH EASIER.  Even now that she's not getting up at night as often, they are super handy if we're just lounging around the house on a lazy day:

3. The Ergo Carrier:  Tim and I both think it's great, it's more comfortable for both of us than the Baby Bjorn or any wrap I've tried, and we'll be able to use it until Stella is upwards of 40 lbs!  You can wear your baby on the front, the hip, or the back (although putting your baby on your back is difficult to maneuver without some help from a friend or husband...).

4.  Sleep Sacks:  They lower the rate of SIDS and what person WOULDN'T love a baby in a sack?

5.  A handmade baby sweater:  timeless and adorable.

6.  A good, old-fashioned baby doll:  Stella can't get enough of her baby from mimi!

I also love Smartwool socks for babies and Robeez shoes which keep all socks on my little girl.  I'm sure there are many, many more things I could list, but this is a snap-shot of a few things we use often, if not daily, in our house!

Standing!

Look who is standing - ALL THE TIME now!

I love my husband.

I love my husband; he is, simply put, an amazing man.  There is nothing like watching your husband care for your child so gently, so sweetly, like Tim does every day.  Stella is truly going to be her daddy's little girl.  You should see her eyes light up when Tim walks in the room...the greatest thing is that I feel the same way!  I have always said that, apart from the gift of Jesus Christ, my relationship with Tim is God's highest demonstration of GRACE in my life.  Grace is unmerited favor; God's grace shed on me when he brought Tim into my life ten years ago.  I am now incredibly thankful that our daughter, Stella Grace, will grow up with an example of a true man of God.  What a gift!

Bed Head.

All I have to say today is:  Don't you wish we could all look this cute upon first waking up?!

Stella's First Christmas

"Thanks for helping me see the Christmas Tree, Uncle Dave!"

"Thanks for helping me open my stocking, grandmom and daddy!"

"Daddy, that's MY cell phone!"

Merry Christmas from our dog, Griffin.

Stella in her Christmas Dress from grandmom.

 

 

 

How can I put this Christmas into words?  We have been in New York, enjoying our time with Tim's family this year.  It has been lovely to see Stella get so excited about the Christmas Tree - it's like she's seeing it for the first time each morning when we wake up!  She has enjoyed her gifts, the process of unwrapping them, and playing with the paper and the boxes.  She looked simply darling in the Christmas dress her grandmom bought her.  And, it has brought me lots of joy to see Tim's family love Stella like crazy.

I have missed my mom and now have a serious beef with FTD flowers who neglected to deliver her Christmas flowers for the second time today - so much for an on-time Christmas present (sorry, mom...you know I love you and that I hate FTD...).  Despite that disappointing setback, it has been a Christmas full of good memories for our little Christmas angel.  We are so thankful to celebrate the holiday with family, but even more thankful for the incredible gift of the Savior's birth...THAT gift is what Christmas is all about, my friends.  Jesus does not disappoint!  I wish I could say the same for FTD...ho, ho, ho!

Not-So-Precious Moments

Tomorrow we set out for our Christmas in New York with Tim's family.  Despite having all day to get things ready, I am still not packed, and I'm still in my pajamas from last night.  It is amazing how much we accomplished today (clean house, clean cars, clean dog, clean baby...), and yet the work continues.  

Today was full of some not-so-precious moments:  spit up, diaper changes, Stella crying every time I put her down, me trying hard to find things that would keep her occupied so that I could accomplish half of one task on my to-do list.  However, I am choosing to be grateful tonight for those not-so-precious moments - even if it means I still have to get packing!  I need to remind myself to take pleasure in the mundane, everyday moments with Stella; time is passing so quickly.  

Merry Christmas from our little elf!

Thank you to Jess and Erich for this adorable dress!

Baby Food.

This is how I spent most of my day:

Stella is one well-fed baby, I'll tell you.  You are looking at the following veggies which were cooked and pureed in our kitchen today:  broccoli, cauliflower, butternut squash, summer squash, zucchini, potatoes, carrots, green beans...phew, I'm tired just writing about it!  Nothing but the best for my baby!

Stella and friends.

I am grateful to have spent time with some good friends the other day.  Pam and her baby, James, are doing so well and he is simply adorable.  I have a hard time remembering how tiny Stella was when she was first born, but seeing James and holding him does bring back memories from those first days of parenthood.  I remember how Stella had a difficult time eating at first and we had to feed her with a tube; I remember her little, uncoordinated legs and arms; I remember watching Tim hold his daughter in complete wonderment.  I honestly thought that it couldn't ever get better than the first days of being a mom, but every single day is better than the one before - how is that possible?  I love watching Pam hold her son and I'm excited to see him grow up and to experience the joys and challenges of motherhood together.  It's so nice not to have to do this alone!

It was also great to see Nicole and to finally meet her man, Marlon.  Stella really enjoyed making some new friends!

Nicole will be a GREAT mommy someday!

Stella loved Marlon.

Proud mama Pammie and Nicole.

Papa Tim and Mama Pam with Sweet Baby James!

Pixie.

Family portrait!

I've wanted a pixie cut since I was in high school but I could never get up the courage to do it.  It's such a drastic move and I felt too scared and worried about what other people would think - whether other people would like it and whether I'd look like a boy and hate it.

I finally did it and I'm so glad I did - not so much because I am in love with it (I have yet to decide what I really think), but I'm mostly glad because it's worth doing things that scare you once in a while...especially when the reason you are NOT doing something is because of what other people will think of you.  I know I spend at least part of my time worrying about other people's opinions on things that don't really matter, especially something as insignificant as a new haircut.

I liked this article that described my internal struggle with short-hair - it helped motivate me to take the plunge!

Me and my wonderful friend, Brandi - and all our kiddos!

Adventures with Sandra and the Kiddos!

Stella getting her daily dose of germs...

Yesterday, we met Sandra and her kiddos at the New Hampshire Children's Museum in Dover - it is fabulous!  I am hoping for Stella's birthday that we get a membership to the museum so that we can visit regularly; how great would that be, huh?  You have access to tons of educational toys and you don't have to clean up or deal with the clutter in your own home!  We had a blast watching the kids play together and experience all the museum has to offer, and we got half off passes at our local library so it was totally worth it.

Love connection?

She's growing like a weed!

Stella, Madison, and Mikayla.

King Landon.

Who is that mysterious girl behind that mask?

Madison playing us some tunes.

Sandra, Mikayla, and Stella were on TV!

I don't know what to say about this :)

Decorating With What's Important.

I finally got around to putting a few things out to mark the Christmas Season, my favorite of which is my nativity scene...an amazing gift from last Christmas, compliments of my mom.  We don't have a tree (at least not yet), but the nativity is more important to me than a tree - it reminds me of the true reason for the season, the birth of the Savior.  I am so thankful to celebrate this holiday for what it really is - thankful that we have made a conscious choice, regardless of our financial want or plenty, to limit our consumption and to turn our hearts and minds to the arrival of the Christ-child.  Tim and I have talked about the kinds of things we want to mark all our future Christmases with Stella - fewer presents and more intentionality; this means keeping the focus on Jesus.  

The Cutest Dress In The World.

When we visited the Cape this past week, we got together with my extended family at my Aunt Francine's house.  Stella received some early Christmas presents from my aunt and cousin, including an AMAZING dress from Francine.  I have never seen anything more precious in my life; it is truly my favorite item of clothing Stella has ever received.  The dress reminded Fran of a Carl Larrson painting - Larrson was a Swedish painter and his subjects (many of whom were his own children) don the most simple, beautiful clothing.  Check out some of his work here.  My mom loved his paintings, so I grew up familiar with his prints.  

For the first time, I went out and bought something for Stella to wear (we've been given all our clothing thus far); she needed some tights and I also found baby leg warmers...come on!  I took Stella to Tim's Staff Christmas Party today and we had a blast.  This is the final product: green dress (a la Francine), red tights, ivory leg warmers, hat and booties (from cousin Mozelle):

Stella and Mark, one of Tim's co-workers.

My little Swedish angel.

I'm having trouble seeing the family resemblance here...

Stella and Jen, another one of Tim's co-workers.

Christmas at Mimi's

Birdy and mimi, checking out the tree.

I'm very thankful for the time Stella and I got to spend with my mom this past week.  Because of the back-and-forth about our house situation we haven't gotten around to decorating for Christmas.  It was wonderful to step inside my mom's house on Saturday; it felt like I was stepping into a kind of "Cottage Christmas Catalog" (or something like that...).  Anyone who knows my mother knows that she has a way of making any house feel like a home - and she sure did an excellent job on her Cape Cod cottage in Pocasset.  

I especially loved watching my mom hold her little "Birdy" while sharing stories about all the ornaments on her tree...all of them have a story of their own.  Tonight I am going to put out a few decorations to mark this marvelous holiday because being on the Cape got me in the Christmas spirit, finally.

Here are a few of my favorite photo memories:

Precious moment between the bird and her mimi.

Bathtime is the best in mimi's sink!

Generations of cousins.

Cousin love - so cute!

Birdy LOVED the ornaments...

...especially her little pine-cone.